Friday, November 21, 2008

Why did they give this girl a license?

I eat a bowl of cereal on my way to work. I started this tradition 6 months ago when I realized that it was too early for me to eat at home before I left, but 30 minutes later by the time I got to work I was starving. I realize there are safer ways to drive, but that’s not the focus of my story. Last week on my way to work I had a bowl of rice crispies in my hand as I started the car and began to pull forward, coasting a little on my empty street. Then I remember that Nate had driven my car last and the seat was too far back, so I leaned down, lifted the handle with my empty left hand and tried to gently scoot forward. The seat, however, didn’t move at all, it was stuck somehow. SO, I was almost to the point on my little street where I have to turn onto an even littler street, so I went to put my foot on the brake so I could slide the seat forward safely before I turned.
Then, simultaneously, my foot was hovering over the brake as my seat suddenly decided it was time to move forward, which made my foot hit the brake, which sudden stop in movement made my seat throw itself all the way forward like a rocket, which made my foot slam the brake pedal all the way down and the car come to a lurching halt and I was thrown against the steering wheel and I nearly crashed my head through the windshield and my rice crispies went flying. Not the bowl, no, I was still clinging to the empty bowl when I came to and realized what had just happened. Grateful I was alive, I moved the seat back again and surveyed the damage. I couldn’t have gotten the inside of my car to be that covered with milk and rice crispies if I had made serious effort. It was as if a rice crispy bomb had gone off. Apparently, rice crispies multiply in the bowl like grape nuts. It was on the roof of the car, the windshield top to bottom, covered the instrument panel, the steering wheel, the entire floor area, the passenger seat, the passenger floor, the middle console, in my hair, on my face, from my neck to my feet I was speckled and soaking wet. After a few seconds of stunned silence (and considering the possibility of just going to work like that, that explains my state of mind) I turned the car around (and drove past the two houses I had driven by previously) to get to my house. I sloshed in my shoes as I walked into my house and standing there on the tile decided all I could do was yell Naaaaaaaaate! He ran downstairs immediately yelling “What happened, is everything okay?” until he saw me, and saw the hundreds of cereal bits stuck to every part of me. Then he got this really compassionate look on his face and said, “Oh, did you throw up?” Well, of course that made me laugh to tears, but finally I told him no, that I needed him to help me clean my car because I spilled. He went outside and immediately came back in saying, “WHAT did you do??” Honestly, folks, it was SO bad, and we didn’t even get a picture. He had to bring out the shop vac!! So, that’s my story, my wonderful husband mopped up my car while I went upstairs and took a shower because I had milk in every crevice.

And in case you’re wondering if I learned my lesson, the answer is yes....... when I eat cereal in the car I always make sure I move the seat first :)

10 comments:

bethany said...

Too bad I wasn't outside my house right then to see this all play out. It would have seriously made my day. :)

I love that Nate thought you threw up all over yourself.

The Crawford's 3 said...

This made my day! I now know I am not the only one that has had to clean a car with food all over it...

Shelley Nicole said...

I'm trying very hard to silently wet my pants and have tears of laughter. Yeah, the kids are reading and I'm over here dying! I LOVE it when you are more of a dork than me for one day!!! YES! Excellent! I only wish I had been in the car! Then you could have blamed it on me...kinda like I blame my rear ending accident in the Subaru on you; cuz I was looking at you singing and it distracted me! This story also reminds me of a WAY funny similar event that happened to me in HS. I'll have to tell you in person. Love you! Husbands are awesome! I need one! I guarantee if that happened to me, I'd be cleaning it up myself.

Amy said...

Man! That story makes me laugh every time :) It's an awesome visual!

Cheryl said...

That is so funny! Probably not right at that moment for you. Would have totally loved to see a picture.

Steph said...

This story made me so happy. Thank you for posting it. We miss you guys. Happy Thanksgiving.

David said...

I cannot stop laughing. Steph made me take time to read this even though it is finals time. And boy am I grateful.

We love you guys!

Jamie said...

Oh good grief... I have tears unto my eyes like unto when you made me laugh in my car and I had to pull over... Mand... I love you, and Nater!

Ryan and Melissa said...

Wow. That's hilarious. It made me laugh out loud. I miss you, we should hang out sometime... maybe meet in the middle. Post-holidays!

Tanya said...

What a great story. You'll have to pass that one on to your kids when they start to drive so they know the perils they face.