I eat a bowl of cereal on my way to work. I started this tradition 6 months ago when I realized that it was too early for me to eat at home before I left, but 30 minutes later by the time I got to work I was starving. I realize there are safer ways to drive, but that’s not the focus of my story. Last week on my way to work I had a bowl of rice crispies in my hand as I started the car and began to pull forward, coasting a little on my empty street. Then I remember that Nate had driven my car last and the seat was too far back, so I leaned down, lifted the handle with my empty left hand and tried to gently scoot forward. The seat, however, didn’t move at all, it was stuck somehow. SO, I was almost to the point on my little street where I have to turn onto an even littler street, so I went to put my foot on the brake so I could slide the seat forward safely before I turned.
Then, simultaneously, my foot was hovering over the brake as my seat suddenly decided it was time to move forward, which made my foot hit the brake, which sudden stop in movement made my seat throw itself all the way forward like a rocket, which made my foot slam the brake pedal all the way down and the car come to a lurching halt and I was thrown against the steering wheel and I nearly crashed my head through the windshield and my rice crispies went flying. Not the bowl, no, I was still clinging to the empty bowl when I came to and realized what had just happened. Grateful I was alive, I moved the seat back again and surveyed the damage. I couldn’t have gotten the inside of my car to be that covered with milk and rice crispies if I had made serious effort. It was as if a rice crispy bomb had gone off. Apparently, rice crispies multiply in the bowl like grape nuts. It was on the roof of the car, the windshield top to bottom, covered the instrument panel, the steering wheel, the entire floor area, the passenger seat, the passenger floor, the middle console, in my hair, on my face, from my neck to my feet I was speckled and soaking wet. After a few seconds of stunned silence (and considering the possibility of just going to work like that, that explains my state of mind) I turned the car around (and drove past the two houses I had driven by previously) to get to my house. I sloshed in my shoes as I walked into my house and standing there on the tile decided all I could do was yell Naaaaaaaaate! He ran downstairs immediately yelling “What happened, is everything okay?” until he saw me, and saw the hundreds of cereal bits stuck to every part of me. Then he got this really compassionate look on his face and said, “Oh, did you throw up?” Well, of course that made me laugh to tears, but finally I told him no, that I needed him to help me clean my car because I spilled. He went outside and immediately came back in saying, “WHAT did you do??” Honestly, folks, it was SO bad, and we didn’t even get a picture. He had to bring out the shop vac!! So, that’s my story, my wonderful husband mopped up my car while I went upstairs and took a shower because I had milk in every crevice.
And in case you’re wondering if I learned my lesson, the answer is yes....... when I eat cereal in the car I always make sure I move the seat first :)